


I Wish I Was Like You, Easily Amused

by sharkdolphin



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Bromance, Domestic Fluff, Friendship, Gen, John's POV, Scrabble, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:01:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24214831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkdolphin/pseuds/sharkdolphin
Summary: Brian scoffed. “So, you mean to say that thinking of birds puts you in the mood?”“Well, Brian dearest, now that you’ve said it like that—”“I meantactual, animal birds. Unless our topic is ‘swans having sex’, which it isn’t, your explanation makes no sensewhatsoever.”akaSquabbles, mental gymnastics, and increasingly outrageous word choices.
Relationships: John Deacon & Brian May & Freddie Mercury & Roger Taylor
Comments: 12
Kudos: 31
Collections: Queen Must Fuck Weekend





	I Wish I Was Like You, Easily Amused

**Author's Note:**

> This is an **extremely** liberal and vague interpretation of a single prompt, ‘aphrodisiac/viagra’.
> 
> Shoutout to @emma_and_orlando and @Tikini for hosting this writing challenge!
> 
> Title is from the lyrics of All Apologies by Nirvana.

“I’ve got an ‘A’,” Brian announced happily, showing the tile off to everyone gathered around the coffee table.

“Oh, mate, today ain’t your lucky day,” Roger announced smugly, opening his palm.

The blank tile he held was greeted with an exclamation from Freddie and a jeer from Brian. John chuckled; the evening was already off to a good start if Roger could start goading anyone this early.

“Well,” Brian said, watching as Roger drew his seven tiles, “maybe by getting a head start this time, yours odds of not making a complete arse of yourself might actually be a little higher.” 

“ _Ooh_ ,” John and Freddie exclaimed in unison, drowning out whatever indignant curses Roger threw back.

“I mean, he _does_ have a knack for making shit up when asked to explain the words he plays,” Freddie mused, “which suits the rules of our game, anyway.”

It _was_ going to be an interesting game, if you asked John; only being able to play words that were related to the topic of sex. Failure to forfeited your next turn.

What, exactly, counted as ‘related’ would be up to the other three players to decide. This was as subjective a rule as they got, but that was rather the point, actually. (Even when making things up for their own unique adaptations of favourite pastimes, they’d always naturally and unquestioningly viewed subjectivity as a strength.)

“You’re all just butchering the game for your own sakes, because it’s the only way you can make yourselves look smart,” Brian said imperiously. That claim didn’t go over well, and John laughed as Freddie and Roger made their disagreements loudly known.

‘IN’ was the first word formed by Roger. “It relates to sex,” he jokingly explained, “because sex frequently requires putting something _in_.”

Brian overheard John muttering, “We all know people who’d disagree,” and burst out in laughter, clapping John on the shoulder.

Of course, he only said that out of habit of playing devil’s advocate, rather than to actually challenge Roger, whom he thought did a fine job of making an overused double entendre still sound funny.

Freddie was next. He added a ‘W’ to form ‘WIN’. John observed Brian’s raised brows and Roger’s smirk, wondering what letters they might have, and what they might be thinking. He then considered his own tiles.

It was just his damned luck that he got three ‘E’s. He had a ‘K’, though, worth five points. John huffed under his breath, considering what words he could play.

‘Keen’? ‘ _You’ll be keen to have sex_ _…_ ’ Nah, there was no humour to it; too dull. ‘Wink’? _‘It’s a staple of physical flirting.’_ A plausible link, if his goal was to ratchet up points.

He could also form ‘week’ and still get rid of two ‘E’s in addition to the ‘K’. _‘Sex becomes boring when you schedule it—to once a week, for instance.’_ But it sounded dull, again. Not what he wanted.

John’s train of thought was cut short by Freddie. “Getting to have sex usually feels like you… _won_ a prize?” He said. It sounded like a question, but Freddie was Freddie, and he delivered his far-fetched reasoning with utter conviction, much to everyone’s amusement.

Roger barked a laugh. “ _Win_ _ning a prize_ ,” he echoed. “Good grief, Fred, that’s—pardon my French—complete stark raving bollocks.”

“I don’t see how your ‘tab-in-slot’ description is any cleverer,” Freddie retorted.

John couldn’t help grinning at his friends’ good-natured rivalry. It had come to his turn, and amid Roger and Freddie’s affectionate quarreling, it didn’t take him more than a moment to decide that he’d stop worrying about his high-value tiles for now; his goal here was simply to have fun.

Adding an ‘E’, the letters now spelt ‘WINE’.

“Alright, Deaky,” Freddie said, “so, what about wine?”

John shrugged. “It’s an aphrodisiac,” he tried, not really bothered if the others would buy his reasoning or not, although hoping at least someone would find it mildly funny.

Roger coughed. “Huh. Wine has a reputation for being romantic, yeah, but _sexy_?”

“Red wine, especially. It’s, you know, known to decrease your inhibitions.”

“That’s it?” Freddie smiled knowingly, looking like he neither wanted to oppose nor promote John’s reasoning, and was just waiting to see how the others reacted.

“The alcohol in it also helps stimulate blood flow,” John added.

His piece of trivia did make Roger choke on his beer this time, although John’s concern was replaced with delight when Roger quickly recovered, and started guffawing. Even Brian and Freddie seemed to find humour in John’s commentary. It made him feel _wonderful_.

Brian, unsurprisingly, had been dividing his attention between the conversation around him and his own tiles all this while, so John supposed he wasn’t the only one slightly disappointed that, instead of spelling out a cuss word or something hilariously suggestive, Brian only added two letters to form ‘WAN’.

“Well, as we all know, sex is one of those things that…would make you look less _wan_ , you see.” To Brian’s credit, his delivery was good-humoured, despite his resigned awareness that his explanation wouldn’t fly.

“Nah,” Freddie dismissed, in agreement with Roger and John. “I’m not convinced your word has much to do with sex at all.”

Brian sighed. “My bloody tiles have put me in a difficult situation.”

“Oh, we’ve only all been there, my friend,” Freddie reassured. He looked to Roger and John. “We’ll have to make him sit out the next round, though, won’t we?” The decision was unanimous, much to Brian’s mock annoyance.

Adding one letter, Roger made the word ‘SWINE’. “The, ah, tusks of a pig are an aphrodisiac,” he said, holding back his own laughter upon seeing the disbelieving look on his friends. “What?”

“Ha! Pigs don’t have tusks—”

“You’re pulling our leg, Roger—”

“They _do_ , Fred, I meant wild pigs—”

John shook his head, looking on with immense fondness as the others bickered. The easy camaraderie, moreso than the free-flowing drinks, was all he needed in this moment to feel warm.

“—And just how is ivory supposed to improve people’s sex lives?” Brian questioned, clearly unimpressed.

“It’s not the ivory,” Roger backtracked. “Boiling pig genitals in soup, that’d do the trick. I’m pretty sure they, ah, have Viagra-like properties.”

Unlike Freddie, who exclaimed in disgust at the idea, Brian only made a face that broadcasted how unconvinced he was. “First you tell us that swine tusks are magically aphrodisiacal, and now it’s suddenly their pricks that are the secret ingredient to your sex potion—”

“It’s not _my_ sex potion—”

“I think your explanation has no evidence,” Brian continued. “I think Roger has to give up his next turn,” he suggested to Freddie and John.

“Are you kidding—”

“I think his explanation makes a lot of sense,” John eventually chimed in, a bit surprised to find three pairs of eyes looking to him. It was worth the look of betrayal on Brian’s face, which he and Roger toasted to, as Freddie looked on with amused delight.

(John couldn’t wait for Roger’s following turn, so he could turn the tables on _him_ by finding some inane flaw in his choice of word. Perhaps _then_ he’d be able to toast with Brian, and get him to finally touch the homemade Shirley Temple they’d mixed for him.)

“Looks like we’re mostly cowards today and only playing single tiles at a time,” Freddie commented, even as he placed a single tile before ‘WAN’, barely holding back his snicker as his hand hovered over the board, pausing for dramatic effect.

His acting _was_ rather entertaining; John liked how Freddie could gracefully stumble his way through a game with irreverent jokes and creative letter placements.

With a flourish, Freddie removed his hand to reveal the word ‘SWAN’. “These birds are mated for life, you see,” he calmly explained. “How can one look at their romantic behaviour and not feel amorous as well?”

Brian scoffed. “So, you mean to say that thinking of birds puts you in the mood?”

“Well, Brian dearest, now that you’ve said it like that—”

“I meant _actual_ , animal birds. Unless our topic is ‘swans having sex’, which it isn’t, your explanation makes no sense _whatsoever—_ ”

“He’s right,” John said.

“He’s wrong,” Roger said.

“Aha!—wait, who’s what, now?” Freddie asked.

“I think what Freddie meant to say was,” John said, “that the mating behaviour of swans are like an idealized courtship. And, you know, courtships are often sexual.”

“Exactly,” Freddie agreed, “it’s _positively_ aphrodisiacal.”

“I don’t think that’s what the word means, Fred,” Brian said.

Roger impatiently hushed the both of them, and only with his grudging agreement that “Fred’s stupid swan explanation” was alright did the game continue.

John used his turn to exchange his tiles rather than play, grinning when he noticed Brian and Roger attentively watching his face for any reaction that could clue them in to his possible strategy. “Don’t try to read my mind, any of you,” he jokingly warned.

With the addition of a ‘K’, Roger spelled ‘SWANK’. “I was planning to make the word ‘wank’, but Freddie beat me to it with ‘swan’, not that it matters.”

“Oh?” Freddie asked, clearly demanding an elaboration.

“To have swank means to have swagger, confidence,” Roger said, waving his beer can around as if to illustrate his point. “And we all know how much of an _aphrodisiac_ that is.”

“Oh, come on!” Freddie exclaimed. John laughed heartily, delighted at how their conversation was continuing on this ridiculous tangent he’d started.

The evening definitely gave a well-deserved break from their usual hectic schedule. It’d been too long, too many days, without them being able to just kick back and enjoy one another’s company.

“Why are we _still_ talking about aphrodisiacs?” Brian groaned. Even he wasn’t immune to smiling, though, despite his best approximation of a frown.

“ _Deaky started it!_ ”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
